i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
