Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
