what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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