I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
