Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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