Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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