and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
