its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
