i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
