Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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