Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
