can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
