Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
