Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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