Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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