I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
