I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I skipped work to stalk him.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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