Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
