like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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