I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
