a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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