saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
