Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
