brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
