one two three fourrrrnication!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize