What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
