I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
