he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
