Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize