So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
