Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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