And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize