is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
