no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
They have beer where we have blood.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
