I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
