Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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