i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
