if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
