Non-Jews are for practice
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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