As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
