I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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