im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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