She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
