party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
