forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
