thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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