She said her name was "party"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
