He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
