woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
my penis made a compromise with my morals
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
