In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize