Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
