is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Pants are for mortals
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
