I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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