She is in my trunk
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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