Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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