BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
