the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
