I got chris browned last night
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
