Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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