No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
